by: Jasper Ian Gonzales*
If I were Rick Warren I would not simply blame "mental illness" as the cause of his son's (Matthew Warren) suicidal tendencies. Computer (data) forensics will reveal much about what went through Matthew's mind the whole time of his existence. Of course, Rick Warren will not allow something damning to be exposed for all the public to see.
Reading through online articles and circulating videos it seems the suicide of his son has spurred Warren and his wife Kay to eradicate the stigma attached to mental illness, drawn him closer to his wife and completed his series series "How to Get Through What You're Going Through". While all I can hear from them are all positive, encouraging and comforting I cannot understand why it seemed Rick and his wife had already and "fully understood" their son's situation or in this case just assumed that there is "less" to be understood because Matthew is supposedly clinically diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (where suicidal tendency is a known symptom).
As a parent myself here's what I will do. I will conduct computer forensics on the online activity of Matthew to understand what milestones led to the suicide event. Why should I care to do that? In this time and age everything we do leaves a trace somewhere hidden in our computers. Deleted files, chat sessions and all online activities are stored in our PC or laptop not to mention in servers around the cyberworld. It's not rocket science I guarantee. So why Rick Warren did not do that? Because of privacy or to protect his son's dignity? Did Warren just teach me how to "not know" but just let go and think positive?
Obviously, the man who taught us the importance of discovering purpose in our life (PDL-ers hear, hear!) failed the test in his own backyard. This is a classic human flaw where a leader says what he does not and cannot do. How Rick and his wife communicate the whole event was a total diversion or a smokescreen, if you will, from the real problem. I'm not taking a stance against gays or persons suffering from mental illnesses. What I'm saying is Rick Warren evades the questions that exposes his failures. He does not even admit one! Wow. And it's all because Matthew suffered from a mental illness. Good excuse.
So, here's my list of why-nots:
Let's remember that a person planning his own death and "seeking" the help of his parents to obtain a gun in order to facilitate his death is not a symptom of irrationality or illness. IT means he is fucked up and fucked up kids need tough love! It's love in a controlled disciplined way. If my child gets a hold of something that can destroy his/her life I will move heaven and earth to get him/her out of that shit even if it's against her will. I won't leave it to doctors, medicines or prayer partners!
Maybe because the Filipino culture is such that meddling even in a child's adult life is mostly allowable or maybe because I just believe that my role as a parent never ceases even after my nest becomes empty. It's sad that Rick did not learn from Matthew's courage. While Matthew faced death without fear, Rick preached and prayed for courage. For Matthew, death is the best escape similar to a drugs for drug addicts. His father is just incapable of giving the answers or at least show the way to find the answers to his son's questions.That job is just too much for him to handle; preaching the good news in a pulpit is easier.
It is a tragedy and I sympathize with the loss. What's sadder is how people can be led to think that everything Rick Warren and his wife did was "OK" and nothing better can be done especially for parents who have children having suicidal tendencies from the so-called "mental illnesses" like depression, drug addiction, homosexuality and anorexia among others.
It is not so different from a POD lyric:
"Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim.
No matter what you say it don't take away the pain that I feel inside.
I'm tired of all the lies.
Don't nobody know why it's the blind leading the blind."
*Jasper Ian Gonzales is an alumnus of MSU-IIT and majored in Political Science. He is in the process of finishing his juris doctor degree at the Angeles University Foundation. He's the older brother of the blog author. This article was taken from his Facebook Note posted earlier this morning.
Photo Credits:
http://theapologetic.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/rick-warren-time-mag.jpg
http://img2-2.timeinc.net/people/i/2013/news/130422/pastor-rick-warren-600.jpg
If I were Rick Warren I would not simply blame "mental illness" as the cause of his son's (Matthew Warren) suicidal tendencies. Computer (data) forensics will reveal much about what went through Matthew's mind the whole time of his existence. Of course, Rick Warren will not allow something damning to be exposed for all the public to see.
As a parent myself here's what I will do. I will conduct computer forensics on the online activity of Matthew to understand what milestones led to the suicide event. Why should I care to do that? In this time and age everything we do leaves a trace somewhere hidden in our computers. Deleted files, chat sessions and all online activities are stored in our PC or laptop not to mention in servers around the cyberworld. It's not rocket science I guarantee. So why Rick Warren did not do that? Because of privacy or to protect his son's dignity? Did Warren just teach me how to "not know" but just let go and think positive?
Obviously, the man who taught us the importance of discovering purpose in our life (PDL-ers hear, hear!) failed the test in his own backyard. This is a classic human flaw where a leader says what he does not and cannot do. How Rick and his wife communicate the whole event was a total diversion or a smokescreen, if you will, from the real problem. I'm not taking a stance against gays or persons suffering from mental illnesses. What I'm saying is Rick Warren evades the questions that exposes his failures. He does not even admit one! Wow. And it's all because Matthew suffered from a mental illness. Good excuse.
So, here's my list of why-nots:
- Why not send him to a rehab facility so he may be in a controlled environment? Guns, drugs and other influences will then be avoided.
- Why not send him to Tibet for a year or two to learn about the Dalai Lama? He'll learn to appreciate life.
- Why not train him in MMA and sign him up with UFC? He will have an outlet of his destructive behavior in a positive way.
- Why not send him to military school then to the frontline of any major operation? Obviously, so he can meet death quicker.
- Why not send him to Japan to help decontaminate and rehabilitate Fukushima?
- Why not send him to Greenpeace undercover missions?
- Why not train him in firefighting?
- Why not send him to Thailand to learn about taming venomous snakes?
- Why not look for a way for Matthew to find a meaningful way to die other than suicide? i.e. death-defying tricks can get a Guinness world record!
Let's remember that a person planning his own death and "seeking" the help of his parents to obtain a gun in order to facilitate his death is not a symptom of irrationality or illness. IT means he is fucked up and fucked up kids need tough love! It's love in a controlled disciplined way. If my child gets a hold of something that can destroy his/her life I will move heaven and earth to get him/her out of that shit even if it's against her will. I won't leave it to doctors, medicines or prayer partners!
Maybe because the Filipino culture is such that meddling even in a child's adult life is mostly allowable or maybe because I just believe that my role as a parent never ceases even after my nest becomes empty. It's sad that Rick did not learn from Matthew's courage. While Matthew faced death without fear, Rick preached and prayed for courage. For Matthew, death is the best escape similar to a drugs for drug addicts. His father is just incapable of giving the answers or at least show the way to find the answers to his son's questions.That job is just too much for him to handle; preaching the good news in a pulpit is easier.
It is not so different from a POD lyric:
"Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim.
No matter what you say it don't take away the pain that I feel inside.
I'm tired of all the lies.
Don't nobody know why it's the blind leading the blind."
*Jasper Ian Gonzales is an alumnus of MSU-IIT and majored in Political Science. He is in the process of finishing his juris doctor degree at the Angeles University Foundation. He's the older brother of the blog author. This article was taken from his Facebook Note posted earlier this morning.
Photo Credits:
http://theapologetic.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/rick-warren-time-mag.jpg
http://img2-2.timeinc.net/people/i/2013/news/130422/pastor-rick-warren-600.jpg
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